Your way is not the right way.
Your way is not the wrong way.
Your way is just your way.
Another one of these fundamental truths that takes us moons to understand, integrate and apply in our daily life.
How can my way not be the right way. If I feel strongly about it, if my way makes me feel good, if I feel it can make others feel good, how can it not be the right way?
Of course my way is not the wrong way. It’s MY way. Do you want me to believe that the way of the murderer is not the wrong way? Do you want to make me believe that the way of the rapist is not the wrong way? The way of the dictator? Err… Hello????
The way I have come to accept this truth (ish…) is by recognising that each and everyone of us are on a particular journey, that each and every one of us are at a particular step in this particular journey. I know nothing about your journey, I don’t know what you have come to do, I don’t know what you have come to learn, I don’t know what you have come to teach. I don’t know who is helping you in your journey. If you have come to learn forgiveness, isn’t the person doing evil helping you to be in this situation of blame and unforgiveness before you can learn to forgive? Isn’t the person doing evil presenting you that very situation from which you will learn to extract yourself from? Can you learn forgiveness without being in a seemingly unforgivable situation?
Another way I have come to accept this truth is by knowing that death doesn’t exist, that we are eternal beings, that our present life, our current incarnation, is only a tiny spec of this eternal journey of discovery and adventure that is our universal life. Knowing this and embracing this removes an enormously heavy load from our shoulders. No need to hurry anymore, no need to be the first anymore, no need to be the best anymore. Just take it one day at a time, as things come to you. Receive them and give back without forcing, without resisting.
Therefore no need to impose on others. No need to feel more right than others. Just the confidence that doing it my way is ok, and being challenged for it is not a threat, but in fact the beautiful sweetness and fun of life.
Ok, but back to our rapist. How is the rapist’s way not the wrong way? Honestly, I cannot answer that one. My experience of life and my spirituality haven’t expanded enough for me to embrace the love of the rapist or of the murderer.
However, as a woman who’s been molested as a child and teenager, I suppose I have had my fair share of ordeal, and I can honestly say I have come the other side forgiving the perpetrator and even recognising that, through my journey of spiritual and psychological reconstruction, he allowed me to have a taste of forgiveness versus grudge, a taste of rest versus vengeance, a taste of love versus hatred. This childhood trauma has forced me to go inside and deal with issues of self-love, seek the truth of my being, so I can decide to honour it or dismiss it. Essentially, it allowed me to experience darkness so I could truly appreciate the light.
So, tell me if you’re following me. The child molester or rapist are on their own journey, albeit very dark. I am myself on a journey to probably learn how the heart expands to embrace love and maybe even divine love, and I suppose crossing the path of darkness, being confronted to difficult situations such as the above, gives me the opportunity to know how deep and broad my love can go. My way is not their way, but my way crossed their way. Their way challenged my way so I could continue doing my way more resolutely. So their way expanded my way.
After all, God is in everything, right?